Fist Bump your way to Better Health

So - there's a new study that reveals - gasp, shock, horror - that shaking hands spreads a lot of germs. It advises that a high five, or preferably, a fist bump, is the healthier way to greet people.

Healthier for some maybe, but have you actually tried fist-bumping anyone? I have more chance of breaking a knuckle or two than hitting the mark. My kids fist bump each other nonchalantly while I, if I allow myself to engage, have to concentrate on getting said fist in the right place, and then hope to god my hand emerges with all nerves and knuckles intact. I view it more as a form of minor torture.

It's supposed to look like this -

Knuckles aligned, hopefully a moderate speed on the approach and no massive rings. 

And besides, I'm a white woman of a certain age, the mother of three children and a paragon of boring respectability. (OK, not a paragon as such, but respectable all the same.) What am I going to look like if I go around fist-bumping everyone from the new assistant school principal to the local Alderman? A pillock who's trying too hard, that's what. Not to mention a source of excruciating embarrassment to my children (Oh wait - that's my job nest-ce pas?)

Certain people seem to do it all the time and get cleanly away with it, (mentioning no names, but....)

You can take that ring off before you fist-bump me, Mr. President. 

If you're going to adopt this method of greeting others, I advise first practicing with a close friend or loved one, who won't fall about the kitchen laughing at your pathetic attempts.

And these two have definitely been putting in the practice hours -

I wonder if the Ball & Chain would be up for a few.